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Is it more important to be respected or liked?
The most important thing is that you respect yourself and you behave in a respectable manner. How people perceive you is their own damn problem.
Stoicism teaches that the ultimate goal of life is to achieve eudaimonia, which can be translated as “flourishing” or “living in accordance with nature.” To attain eudaimonia, Stoics believe in cultivating virtues, which are qualities of character that align with reason and contribute to our well-being and the well-being of others.
The four cardinal virtues of Stoicism are:
- Wisdom (Sophia): The ability to discern what is true, rational, and just in any given situation.
- Courage (Andreia): The strength to face challenges and adversity with resilience and determination.
- Justice (Dikaiosyne): Treating others fairly and according to their moral worth.
- Temperance (Sophrosyne): Exercising self-control and moderation in desires and actions.
When faced with the choice between being respected or liked, the Stoic would prioritize embodying these virtues rather than seeking external validation. Being respected by others may come as a result of displaying wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance consistently in our words and deeds. However, seeking respect as the primary goal can lead to vanity and dependence on the opinions of others, which Stoicism discourages.
Likewise, seeking to be liked by others can lead to the pursuit of popularity and a desire for constant approval, which are also external and uncontrollable factors according to Stoicism. The Stoic would acknowledge that it is natural to desire positive relationships and connections with others but not at the expense of sacrificing one’s integrity or abandoning virtues.
The Stoic would find contentment in living a life in accordance with reason and virtue, irrespective of whether others respect or like them. They would recognize that external opinions are subject to change and often beyond our control. By focusing on developing inner character and virtuous conduct, the Stoic aims to achieve a state of tranquility and inner peace, known as “ataraxia,” which is not dependent on external circumstances.
In summary, the Stoic’s approach to the question is to prioritize cultivating virtues and living in…
